In last month’s EFT Cafe practice group we worked on a process designed to undo the procrastinating power of shoulds.
On the face of it shoulds sound like an innocent statement of intent – I should mow the lawn, I should complete this project – but it turns out to create a subtle, or not so subtle, resistance to getting it done.
During the workshop one of the participants used the process to work on one of her “shoulds”. When I got up the following morning I found this email in my inbox
I am writing this not because I should but because I want to; this statement has already made a difference to me (just a few hours later). It was taught to me at tonight’s EFT Café by you.
â€˜Should’ has an unexpected negativity attached to it which became more obvious as we explored different scenarios around the word should.
· I should clear the garage
· I should be more patient
· I should fill in my job applications.
Can you hear the quiet whisper that follows the statements? You should, but you haven’t, you didn’t, you’re not; so you failed.
It’s a powerful realisation that these two words â€˜I should’ are followed by a silent and negative message.
The session asked us to choose a statement to work on, I chose:
â€˜I should fill in my job applications’
It was an issue I’d been facing for some months; that I should move on and up the corporate ladder but I was being held back. I’d already used EFT to try to shift some limiting beliefs and to find the cause of my reluctance but I was still petrified of these forms.
As I tapped I realised that I felt disloyal to my team for wanting to leave. I hadn’t realised the emotion was so strong and it took a few rounds tapping on the emotive statement to understand what the emotional reaction had been indicating. Left to my own devices I would never have found out.
Instead just a few hours later I have confidently filled in my application form; easily ignoring Facebook, TV, radio and even chocolate, all my usual distractions.
Thanks Andy for a brilliant EFT Café.
P.S I didn’t even notice the â€˜should’ half way through this until I read back through.’ I should move on and up the corporate ladder’. Perhaps I’ll tackle this next, not because I should, but because I want to.
On November 19th, 2011 I am running a Getting Out Of Your Own Way workshop in Newcastle that will include undoing shoulds and many other limitations to stopping you doing what you want to do.
To find out more visit Getting Out Of Your Own Way
This months EFT Cafe is on Wednesday 9th November and is all about using questions and EFT as a more powerful alternative to affirmations.