In this short and powerful video John Gottman describes the sure-fire attitudes and behaviours that mess up personal relationships.
In many years of research about the “masters” and “disasters” of relationships he’s identified four ways not to handle the stresses and strains of being in relationship.
- Criticism
- Defensiveness
- Contempt
- Stonewalling
In the video Dr Gottman describes these behaviours and their effects, including: contempt is the best predictor of divorce and being on the receiving end of contempt is a predictor for the number of infectious illnesses they will experience in the next four years.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CbJPaQY_1dc
It’s a sobering and funny video that is well worth watching.