I have to get it right!

A few days ago I worked with a client who was tackling strong parental expectations of her that she “should get it right” at all times. Amongst other things this early conditioning had resulted in her paying much closer attention to all the times when she had got it wrong, discounting her successes.  We did a lot of tapping around the theme “I have to get it right” to release these unhelpful ideas. Later that evening I returned to the theme of that session and rolled the idea of having to get it right around in my mind.  I realised that this was true for me, when I spoke the phrase “I have to get it right” out loud I realised it had some intensity for me.

Saying a suspect phrase out loud is a good way of finding out whether something is true for you. I didn’t have enough time to deal with this issue so I made a note of it in my ‘tapping book’ to get back to it later. When did have more time, I started tapping rounds using “I have to get it right” as part of the setup phrase. Midway through the third round of tapping the thought “or I’ll get the blame” floated up into conciousness. I tested this phrase by saying it out loud and got a reaction to it especially when I combined it with the first phrase.

“I have to get it right, or I’ll get the blame”

I did a few rounds of tapping using this combined statement as the setup phrase, after a few rounds this changed from being a strong belief about myself to just a collection of words. This is typically the result of using EFT on limiting beliefs. I noticed the day after tapping on this limiting belief that I felt much more inclined to get things done. This was quite a change after a few days of feeling a rather in the doldrums and not able to get going.

This particular combination of limiting beliefs is a very effective support to procrastination. Since it’s unlikely that the results of any action will be perfect many procrastinators will never start. If you add the idea that when it goes wrong you will get the blame the anxiety about taking action will be increased. The result of this combination is a double dose of reluctance to start projects. I’m very happy to have taken care of it.

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