How to make the best of a pain in the neck

Here’s a little exercise that you might like to try out if there is someone in your life who rubs you up the wrong way (if there is only one, congratulations!). It’s quite a simple little exercise based on the idea that we dislike in others is what we dislike in ourselves. This is one way of finding out and, if you know EFT, doing something about it. If you don’t know EFT visit for more information.

This process is appropriate for using day to day annoyances and irritations to feel better about yourself and the world. If the person concerned has badly abused or traumatised you this is not the way to deal with that, use the EFT trauma techiques to resolve those traumas separately.

Here are the steps:

  1. Think of someone you find difficult to get on with, make an estimate of the annoyance with them between 0 and 10.
  2. Make a list of three, or more things, about them that really annoy or upset you.
  3. Imagine for a moment that these are a list of qualities that may apply to you. Take each of these qualities and say the following sentence: “I am/have [quality]”. How true does that feel on a scale of 0 to 10. If there is any ‘charge’ on that statement, make a note of it.*
  4. Choose the most intense statement and start tapping out rounds of EFT using the setup phrase: “Even though I am/have [quality] I accept myself and how I feel”. Continue tapping until it has been reduced to zero
  5. Work through each of the other qualities until they are clear.
  6. When you have done all that, check back how you feel about the person who triggered these emotions in you. Chances are that it will feel different now.

Try it out and let me know what happens.

*If there is no charge on the I have/am [quality] statement, ask yourself ‘Who, or what, does this remind me of? Which may lead to a very fruitful tapping session.

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