Cafe Nero in Hexham has two comfortable seats by the window of their narrow shop front. It’s one of my favourite places to sit, sip a cappuchino, and watch the world go by. As I went in, there was no queue and no-one sitting in my favourite chair, I thought ‘If I get in quick, I’ve got it made’. I stood at the counter, placing my order for a grande cappuchino with chocolate sprinkles, as the milk frothed and my anticipation rose I glanced over to the door.
A retired couple, laden with shopping, paused at the door and spotting the opportunity, parked themselves on my seats! Bloody hell! I was so looking forward to sitting in my favourite chair! I had to make do with a hard chair way back in the cafe, looking at the usurping couple and scribbling this article with vengeful intensity.
Fortunately, I noticed my thought process and I had recently read the SET article, so I had the finger tapping routine available to deal with the problem.
Three thoughts had sprung to mind when my ‘perch’ was stolen.
- It’s not fair! (I thought this one in a childish whining voice – not very mature of me)
- That’s my seat! (This time in a tone of righteous indignation)
- Typical! Someone else always gets what I want!
I started the finger tapping, my tapping hand concealed beneath the table, no setup phrases or any other sign that I was using EFT. I was about half way through the first round when I recognised the familiar relaxed sigh that accompanies the dissolving of tension. I checked, the statement no longer had any negative charge. Then I worked on ‘That’s my seat!’, a few rounds of finger tapping and it faded away, it was now just a collection of words.
The final phrase: “Typical, someone else always gets what I want!” is more interesting. Beliefs have a tendency to be complusive, they compel us to act in certain ways or filter our world view looking for evidence that confirms the belief and disregarding evidence to the contrary. Just imagine for a moment that I believed and acted as if this was true. I’d be organising my experience not to get what I want.
Although it seems like an innocuous throw away line I thought it was worth neutralising. A few rounds of tapping took care of that as well. By this time I felt quite relaxed about the couple occupying the seats, the seats had stopped being my seats (after all they never were my seats), now they are just seats. The negative reaction to the situation had been completely eliminated.
You might be thinking: So what? Why bother with such a trivial reaction? Well, I suspect that most of us are assailled by many, many little discontents or annoyances everyday. Usually we are able to suppress them and get on with things, but that’s a large accumulation of annoyances; little bursts of stress hormones and unhappiness. In my opinion by tackling the little stuff we can begin to turn the balance a little bit in our favour, by using these techniques on our little annoyances we have many opportunties to be just that little be more calm and a little less stressed.