Are You Stuck In Your Child Car Seat?

Image courtesy of Tom Staziker

Think of a child car seat.

If you are a parent you probably had one (or more) in the back of your car as your children grew up.

Under most circumstances your baby started in a baby carrier and then progressed to getting strapped into their child seat (often with a lot of squirming and shouting).

Eventually your child is comfortable, securely seated and safe.

Eventually they get too big for the child seat, moving on to a booster seat, and finally they sit in the car just like everyone else.

Imagine, that for some strange reason, the child has to use the same little seat forever!

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Tracking Down The Right Memory With 3 Questions

Image by Michal Jarmoluk from Pixabay

A central tenet of EFT / Tapping is that most of our emotional problems have a history. We learn unhelpful feelings and limiting beliefs in situations that are embedded in our memory and play out in our current lives, long after the original experience is over.

One of an EFT Practitioner’s jobs is finding and neutralising the memories of where problems start, thus neutralising the unhelpful feelings that came out of that experience.

There are lots of ways to identify these formative memories.

Practitioners may ask their clients:

  • What does this remind you of?
  • When did this problem start?
  • etc

These are all good questions, and I’d like to introduce you to a sequence of three questions that are an easy and effective way of finding the ‘original memory’ of that feeling.

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The Road Of Fire And Ice

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

Imagine you are driving down a road.

It’s a wide road and you are the only car on the road.

This road is very strange.

On one side there is a raging forest fire that reaches right up to the edge, on the other there is a deep cold lake covered by a thin layer of ice.

Your car is also very strange.

You can turn the wheel to steer the car but it also has a special feature where the wheel will turn itself when you feel emotional distress. It will turn left or right (you’re never sure which) and the stronger the distress the further the wheel will turn.

You have to drive along this road you have no choice.

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Tapping: Natural, Powerful and Safe?

There is a common belief among tappers that even though EFT/Tapping is powerful, it is safe because it is natural.

If you tap on an issue nothing bad can happen because EFT only uses the body’s natural self-soothing mechanisms.

What could be safer?

Unfortunately being natural doesn’t make you safe: tigers, arsenic, Great White Sharks, Deadly Nightshade and lightning are all perfectly natural and perfectly capable of killing you.

Being natural is no guarantee of safety.

It gets worse.

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Why Therapy By Facebook Is A Bad Idea

Therapy by Facebook

If you are on any of the alternative / complementary therapy self-help groups you will be familiar with ‘Therapy By Facebook’: one of the group asks for help and other group members offer their experience and suggestions.

On the face of it, the support and willingness to help from the participants of these groups is is inspiring, but is it a good thing?

The steps of ‘Therapy By Facebook’ are probably familiar to you.

Someone posts a request for help on their favourite Facebook EFT, NLP, ( insert favourite modality here) group.

Note: In this article I’m going to talk about EFT/Tapping, as it is the modality I’m most familiar with, but I’m sure the same kind of thing goes on in many Facebook groups.

It’s obvious that the person making the post is suffering and wants some way to relieve their distress. They may have read articles or seen YouTube videos of someone using EFT/Tapping to get astounding results and they hope that they can get some relief from what is bothering them.

The ‘client’ usually sums up their problem in a short post of just two or three sentences.

As soon as members of the group have read this, some of them are moved to offer whatever help they can. Each person offers a suggestion, an approach or an explanation for what they think is happening and what might help.

Typically these suggestions are also just two or three sentences long.

Typically some of these suggestions will contradict each other.

It may have taken a lot of courage for the ‘client’ to put their issue out there into the public arena. As the suggestions roll in it must be comforting to realise that so many people want to help.

But will the help that is being offered really help?

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Resistance Has Got A Bad Name

Resistance has got a bad name.

In the ‘be positive at all costs’ popular culture experiencing resistance or engaging in self-sabotage is seen as a ‘bad thing’, something to be overcome or eliminated.

If you experience resistance or self-sabotage you might feel lacking, defective or even morally defective and, if you are really unlucky, other people will agree with you.

I think the conventional ‘wisdom’ that resistance and self-sabotage are bad and should be treated like some kind of mental leprosy is wrong and may even make things worse.

I think there is a more useful explanation for resistance and self-sabotage.

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