When asked: “What is your biggest problem with EFT?”
One of my newsletter readers answered: “I often forget to use it in acute situations where I would greatly benefit from it (rising anxiety in a situation that makes me nervous)”
If people report that they get so much benefit from EFT, why do they forget to tap in difficult situations?
I think there are three reasons why someone would forget to tap when they need to.
1. Hijacked By Strong Emotions
EFT is really good for settling strong emotions. Anyone who has used it will know that painful emotional states are quickly softened by using EFT.
Unfortunately strong emotional states, particularly those related to fear and anxiety reduce our ability to think straight. It’s as if the plug gets pulled on our thinking mind and we go into a less resourceful state of mind.
Even though this article focuses on EFT these blocks apply to whatever self-help modality you are using
In my September Newsletter I sent out a survey asking my readers for some of the questions and queries they had about using EFT for themselves. I got some great responses which I hope to answer in a series of articles.
The first question I want to tackle was asked by a few readers and could be summarised as: “Why don’t I use EFT on a regular basis?”
As an EFT Trainer I have noticed that a lot of people learn the basics with enthusiasm at a training and then fail to use the skills they have learned on a regular basis.
It’s a puzzle, why go to all the trouble to learn a simple, robust, self-help technique and then not use it?
Here are eight reasons you might not use EFT on a regular basis for yourself.
1. You don’t want to change
At one level you really want to change. Of course you do, why else would you spend time and money learning the techniques to do that.
At another level the part of you that has learned to live in your current situation might prefer to keep the more familiar status quo even if it is not very agreeable.
Most people like stability, they like a predictable life, even if they don’t like that life at least they know what to expect and be prepared for it.
Years ago, when I was a participant on a counselling course one of the trainers, Professor Charles (Chuck) M Devonshire told us something that struck me as being a very astute observation of people. He said:
“In my opinion, for most people it’s better the security of misery than the misery of insecurity”
I think he was right. For most people the desire for predictability weighs heavily against the desire to change and the unfamiliarity that brings and their unconscious mind makes sure that they don’t take the necessary steps to change.
“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”
– Carl Rogers
One of the aims of EFT is to help people accept themselves and how they feel.
The set-up statement (this is my version) “Even though I have this feeling, I accept myself and how I feel” is intended to help someone accept their inner world as it is and then change it through the tapping.
However accepting a feeling, thought or symptom is not easy. If we were just able to accept our feelings we would probably not need to get help, we would simply acknowledge the feeling and get on with life.
But it’s not that simple because emotions are not that simple.
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
– Viktor Frankl
In a recent edition of the NLP Comprehensive newsletter I read an article about a variety of useful techniques for shifting unhelpful emotional states written by NLP Practitioner and Trainer Kevin Creedon (who sadly died a year after this article was written).
This part of the article caught my eye.
“Emotions are Choices. William Glasser, M.D. in his book Choice Theory makes a strong case for the idea that emotions are choices, even when they don’t feel like it. …Whether or not emotions are choices is true, it is a very useful assumption. Here’s an experiment. Pretend that you are grumpy and mentally label your experience each of these ways:
1. I am grumpy.
2. I am feeling grumpy.
3. I am choosing to feel grumpy.
What are the differences for you? Which gives you the greatest freedom (and responsibility)?
You may have learnt EFT from a workshop, training, book or video and you are hopeful that you can use it to make positive changes in your life – but somehow you don’t seem to be able to put it into regular practice .
You’re smart enough not to be looking for a magical “get cured quick” scheme where one application of a secret tapping routine will transform your life forever.
Just as it takes some time and effort to lose weight or exercise regularly, you understand that it takes some work to make positive changes in your life.
You want the benefits of a less-stress life and you are ready to do the work.
You know how to tap, you just need some straight forward ways of weaving EFT into your daily life.
Introducing The Tapping Habit
I designed the Tapping Habit for people like you based on my experience of integrating EFT into my daily life.
It will give you:
A step by step approach to successfully using EFT in daily life
Simple strategies that help guide your tapping practice
Different ways to tackle problems so that you can make continuous progress
The Tapping Habit is a FREE 10 week e-class showing you how to make the most out of tapping in everyday life. Every week a new lesson will be delivered to your email inbox.
‘I wanted to let you know how much I’m enjoying, and benefiting from, the e-course. I have bought a small notepad, entitled it â€˜Mosquitoes’! and am tapping every day, but the good thing is, I’ve started to use the different techniques too’.
– Lisa Burnage
IMPORTANT: This email course offers no ridiculous promises, miracle cures, instant life transformations or breakthroughs, but it does contain straightforward and sensible suggestions that will help you make big changes over time (and it is FREE!)