How many times have you had the thought “Oh no, not again!”?
In my pre-EFT life I was a software engineer in a small image analysis company. I was given the responsibility of supporting a project that had several technical problems.
Every couple of weeks I’d get a call from our customer who was (rightly) concerned about the lack of progress we were making. By accident or design he knew exactly how to make me feel bad so that I would promise repairs and add new features to make up for the lack of progress.
Each call was more painful than the last one, as time went on I came to dread them. I was so knotted up with tension whenever he called I was surprised I could still string sentences together.
Each call made the next one worse. It was a vicious circle I couldn’t get out of, if only I’d had EFT then.
A lot of our daily stressors have a kind of repetitive quality, it’s the same thing over and over again.
Most of us experience moderate amounts of stress or distress in our lives. Some of us experience huge amounts of stress and distress that can make our lives a misery.
Naturally people want to feel better.
The self-help shelves at the book store groan under the weight of all the self-help books offering techniques and approaches to relieve your suffering. EFT books are finding their way on to those shelves in increasing numbers.
In the online age advice and suggestions for tapping self help are all around us. If you Google EFT + ‘your problem’ you are likely to be overwhelmed with suggestions. You may be invited to tap along with videos and scripts, sign up for courses and download ebooks designed to help you resolve this, that or the other, problem.
We are very lucky to have EFT/Tapping available as a powerful self-help tool, but there’s good news and bad news.
The good news is that EFT/Tapping is very powerful, it can reach deep issues and process difficult emotions. In the hands of a skilled practitioner who knows what to do and how to do it you can make a great deal of progress at relieving your stress and soothing your distress.
The bad news is that EFT/Tapping is very powerful, it can reach deep issues and process difficult emotions. In the hands of someone who doesn’t know what they are doing it may not work at all, or it may ‘work’ too well and you will get into emotional trouble that can be hard to get out of.
That’s one of the reasons why working with a good practitioner is so helpful, they know what to do, how to do it and how to keep you safe while you are doing it.
If you are using EFT/Tapping for yourself you are both your own therapist and your own client. It’s important not to bite off more than you can chew.
Tapping/EFT is an excellent self-help tool. It’s a simple way to soothe emotional stress and remove personal difficulties.
All you need to do is notice what is going on in your thoughts and feelings, then direct your tapping to soothe those troublesome memories, emotions or beliefs.
Using EFT on memories, emotions or beliefs can be quite straightforward, especially if you know what to tap on.
But sometimes it can be difficult to use tapping for self-help, because it can be hard to tap for ourselves, while we are in the middle of what we are tapping on.
Working on your own stuff can be difficult because:
When you are on the inside of the problem you are affected by the feelings and emotions of that problem. If the problem is upsetting or scary you will be upset or scared. It’s difficult to do good work if you are feeling strong emotions.
When you are inside the problem you see the problem through the perspective of the problem, it is as if you are wearing ‘problem goggles’. For example: if the problem is that you think there is nothing you can do to help yourself, that belief will get in the way of working on that belief because you will think there is nothing you can do to help yourself.
When you are inside a problem it’s hard to see what’s going on – it’s easier to read the label when you are outside the jar. Being a human is complicated. We are full of contradictory thoughts, feelings and responses, in so much confusion it can be difficult to see what is important. To people on the outside it might be obvious, but when you are on the inside it’s not so clear.
This is why working with another person who can see what you can’t see and guide your tapping accordingly can be so helpful.
A skilled EFT practitioner won’t be feeling what you are feeling, they won’t be wearing your ‘problem goggles’ and from the outside they can sometimes see what is going on in us more clearly.
But, there is never another tapper around when you need one!
What if you could more easily see what needs to be done and more easily work with it?
3rd Person tapping helps you be both on the inside and outside of the problem.
By asking surprisingly simple questions we can work with our stuff as if we were someone else and gain a little extra distance and perspective to help our tapping do the work it needs to do.