If you are familiar with EFT/Tapping you probably know about ‘The Choices Method’ developed by Pat Carrington as a skilful means to bring positive emotions into tapping processes.
In the Choices Method elegantly shifts the tapper from an unhelpful state into something much more positive.
The shift from the negative to the positive is achieved by tapping using the phrase “I choose to [some positive feeling or outcome]” to help access their innate resources.
However if the tapper can choose to feel good, doesn’t that imply that they may have chosen to feel bad in the first place?
Loosely based on the work of NLP Trainer Kevin Creedon and William Glasser M.D. creator of Choice Theory, September’s EFT Cafe is about using the idea that we choose our emotional state (good or bad) to help us let go of the feelings that are troubling us.
Find out about The Paradoxical Choices Method in this month’s EFT Café is on Wednesday 13th September 2017 at St Oswald’s Hospice Education Centre, Gosforth, Newcastle upon Tyne from 7pm to 9pm and costs just £10
Tapping/EFT is an excellent self-help tool. It’s a simple way to soothe emotional stress and remove personal difficulties.
All you need to do is notice what is going on in your thoughts and feelings, then direct your tapping to soothe those troublesome memories, emotions or beliefs.
Using EFT on memories, emotions or beliefs can be quite straightforward, especially if you know what to tap on.
But sometimes it can be difficult to use tapping for self-help, because it can be hard to tap for ourselves, while we are in the middle of what we are tapping on.
Working on your own stuff can be difficult because:
When you are on the inside of the problem you are affected by the feelings and emotions of that problem. If the problem is upsetting or scary you will be upset or scared. It’s difficult to do good work if you are feeling strong emotions.
When you are inside the problem you see the problem through the perspective of the problem, it is as if you are wearing ‘problem goggles’. For example: if the problem is that you think there is nothing you can do to help yourself, that belief will get in the way of working on that belief because you will think there is nothing you can do to help yourself.
When you are inside a problem it’s hard to see what’s going on – it’s easier to read the label when you are outside the jar. Being a human is complicated. We are full of contradictory thoughts, feelings and responses, in so much confusion it can be difficult to see what is important. To people on the outside it might be obvious, but when you are on the inside it’s not so clear.
This is why working with another person who can see what you can’t see and guide your tapping accordingly can be so helpful.
A skilled EFT practitioner won’t be feeling what you are feeling, they won’t be wearing your ‘problem goggles’ and from the outside they can sometimes see what is going on in us more clearly.
But, there is never another tapper around when you need one!
What if you could more easily see what needs to be done and more easily work with it?
3rd Person tapping helps you be both on the inside and outside of the problem.
By asking surprisingly simple questions we can work with our stuff as if we were someone else and gain a little extra distance and perspective to help our tapping do the work it needs to do.
A few days ago I worked with a client who was tackling strong parental expectations of her that she “should get it right” at all times. Amongst other things this early conditioning had resulted in her paying much closer attention to all the times when she had got it wrong, discounting her successes. We did a lot of tapping around the theme “I have to get it right” to release these unhelpful ideas. Later that evening I returned to the theme of that session and rolled the idea of having to get it right around in my mind. I realised that this was true for me, when I spoke the phrase “I have to get it right” out loud I realised it had some intensity for me.
Last weekend I’ve been enjoying the delights of a cold, although I must confess I haven’t enjoyed them that much. I made a few desultory attempts to relieve some of the symptoms with EFT but I didn’t get very far. The thumping headache I had on Saturday kept thumping whatever I did, eventually I sought comfort in some asprin and paracetamol. I wasn’t much better on Sunday, but hoped that by Monday the worst would be over and I’d be heading back to feeling fine. No such luck. I felt better but still had the overall feeling of being washed out that I usually associate with illness.