Self help

Ways of using these techniques to help yourself

EFT Cafe – Stress Prevention – March 10th 2020

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Image by Bruno /Germany from Pixabay

It’s common to talk about EFT/Tapping for stress relief: have a difficult experience, feel bad, tap on those feelings to feel better.

Usually people (even experienced tappers) have to feel really bad before they think of tapping for stress relief.

Rather than wait to feel bad before tapping wouldn’t it be better to reduce your stress response before the experience so you could be calm when the stressful situation happens.

In this month’s EFT Cafe Andy Hunt will introduce some approaches to help you be in the ‘eye of the storm’ when it comes, rather than being blown about by it.

This month’s EFT Cafe is on Tuesday, 10th March 2020 at St Oswald’s Hospice Teaching Centre, Newcastle upon Tyne.

Repair and Prepare: Tapping Your Way Out Of Repetitive Stress

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How many times have you had the thought “Oh no, not again!”?

In my pre-EFT life I was a software engineer in a small image analysis company. I was given the responsibility of supporting a project that had several technical problems.

Every couple of weeks I’d get a call from our customer who was (rightly) concerned about the lack of progress we were making. By accident or design he knew exactly how to make me feel bad so that I would promise repairs and add new features to make up for the lack of progress.

Each call was more painful than the last one, as time went on I came to dread them. I was so knotted up with tension whenever he called I was surprised I could still string sentences together.

Each call made the next one worse. It was a vicious circle I couldn’t get out of, if only I’d had EFT then.

A lot of our daily stressors have a kind of repetitive quality, it’s the same thing over and over again.

Read moreRepair and Prepare: Tapping Your Way Out Of Repetitive Stress

Tapping: Natural, Powerful and Safe?

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There is a common belief among tappers that even though EFT/Tapping is powerful, it is safe because it is natural.

If you tap on an issue nothing bad can happen because EFT only uses the body’s natural self-soothing mechanisms.

What could be safer?

Unfortunately being natural doesn’t make you safe: tigers, arsenic, Great White Sharks, Deadly Nightshade and lightning are all perfectly natural and perfectly capable of killing you.

Being natural is no guarantee of safety.

It gets worse.

Read moreTapping: Natural, Powerful and Safe?

Why it’s better to learn from life than be taught by it.

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I recently saw this ‘inspirational’ quote

“When you replace “why is this happening?” with “what is this trying to teach me?” then everything shifts.

There is a popular idea in personal growth circles that difficult things are really lessons, provided by God / Universe / Spirit / Source that we need to be taught to progress to our next level of ‘spiritual development’.

From this perspective, asking the question “What is this trying to teach me?” makes sense.

It’s probably a better question than “Why is this happening to me?” but I think the metaphor underpinning the question has some serious downsides.

Read moreWhy it’s better to learn from life than be taught by it.

Resistance Has Got A Bad Name

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Resistance has got a bad name.

In the ‘be positive at all costs’ popular culture experiencing resistance or engaging in self-sabotage is seen as a ‘bad thing’, something to be overcome or eliminated.

If you experience resistance or self-sabotage you might feel lacking, defective or even morally defective and, if you are really unlucky, other people will agree with you.

I think the conventional ‘wisdom’ that resistance and self-sabotage are bad and should be treated like some kind of mental leprosy is wrong and may even make things worse.

I think there is a more useful explanation for resistance and self-sabotage.

Read moreResistance Has Got A Bad Name

Defuse and Aspire: A Two Stage Tapping Process To Prepare For Challenging Situations

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ReadyOne of the many things life is good at is presenting us with challenging situations.

We might have to speak in public, go through difficult medical procedures, visit relatives we can’t stand, deal with angry customers and do many more things that we would prefer not to.

You could just grit your teeth and get on with it or you could use tapping processes to ease your apprehension and find the resources you need to be the best you can be in that situation.

So, you might start looking for tapping scripts that ‘work’ for your problem. You might hope with just a few rounds of tapping that you can go from stressed / distressed / anxious / terrified to calm / centred / happy / relaxed.

It’s a simple solution that probably won’t work.

In a culture that values ‘positive’ feelings and rejects (or fears) ‘negative’ feelings many people focus on getting past feeling bad to feeling good as quickly as possible. They hope that if the tapping ends on a high note then all will be well.

In the understandable desire for (premature) reassurance we try to speed past difficult feelings and get to the enjoyable ones.

Unfortunately, to genuinely access your emotional resources it’s more effective to resolve what gets in their way.

Read moreDefuse and Aspire: A Two Stage Tapping Process To Prepare For Challenging Situations

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