From Carl Rogers To Identity Healing

Tony Mudd Memorial Lecture
Tony Mudd Memorial Lecture
On 22nd March 2018 I had the pleasure of presenting this talk to an audience of counsellors and counselling students at Tyne Met College.

It’s a personal account of the development of the Identity Healing processes that I use with my clients.

The talk is about how a shy introverted teenager who didn’t feel quite good enough developed the process that helped him and helps others.

This 40 year journey includes encounter groups, Carl Rogers, Buddhism, NLP, introductions to inner children, EFT (aka Tapping), how our younger selves get stuck and one way of getting unstuck.

Note: I recorded the talk on my phone so the sound quality is a little bit variable in places.

EFT Gathering 4×4 – Ilkley, 29th & 30th April 2017

Gwyneth Moss, EFT Master and organiser of the annual EFT Gathering is organising a new form of workshop for anyone who wants to develop their tapping skills.

The 4×4 event is a two day set of four workshops (followed by an optional day long workshop by Gwyneth). There are four presenters, one of whom just happens to be me!

It promises to be a rich weekend of tapping and exploration with four very different presenters. I’m presenting a brief introduction to the Identity Healing process on Sunday afternoon.

Gwyneth says:

Four of your favourite presenters teaching four advanced EFT workshops over a weekend followed by EFT Constellations all day on Monday. Read more https://www.eftgathering.com

EFT 4×4 as we are calling it is the weekend of 29/30 April and the workshops are:

SATURDAY AM – GWYNETH MOSS – SURROGATE TAPPING FOR CHILDREN
Have you tried surrogate tapping but struggled to find the words? Gwyneth developed the 3 Phase approach to teach ethical and effective surrogate tapping for all. Children love tapping but sometimes its gentler for a friend or parent to offer remote help. Teaching, demonstration, exercises and discussion

SATURDAY PM – SUSIE FOSTER – TAP AWAY SCHOOL STRESS
School stress is on the increase. Susie’s Gathering presentation was a favourite. Now she shows you how she teaches emotional literacy to 7 year olds. How she gets a whole class tapping and how everyone has lots of fun.

SUNDAY AM – ROS BARBER – TAPPING INTO INSPIRATION
Have you ever struggled to find the words to write about EFT and what you do? Do you feel it should be easier to write a letter or article? Or is there a book in you? Award winning writer Ros Barber has designed this practical workshop for you to tap through your fear, into your inspiration and express your true voice in writing.

SUNDAY PM – ANDY HUNT – THE IDENTITY HEALING EXPERIENCE
Andy Hunt combined his deep knowledge of NLP with tapping to create Identity Healing a suite of processes to gently heal the younger suffering parts of ourselves that are still struggling in our adult lives. Andy’s workshop gives you a taste of what is possible.

MONDAY – GWYNETH MOSS – EFT CONSTELLATIONS
Do we live out the stuck emotional patterns of our ancestors? What if tapping could reach into the family field and clear traumas long past? EFT Constellations group work does just that. An experiential day for experienced tappers.

Come and join us at the Clarke Foley Centre in Ilkley. Spring is gorgeous here with bluebells and walks on the moor. https://www.eftgathering.com Book your place at https://regonline.co.uk/eft4x4

hope to see you soon
Gwyneth

eftevents@gmail.com

I’m looking forward to the event, I think it’s going to be fascinating.

Contact Gwyneth directly if you need more information.

How your past can be running your present (and what to do about it)

Annies photo
Image courtesy of simpleinsomnia

EFT/Tapping is a wonderful self-help tool. You can use it to soothe difficult emotions and ease painful memories.

It’s so good, you imagine that if you just tapped on the symptoms of your problem, relief would be quick to follow.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem to work that way.

A quick search on the internet will find a multitude of tapping scripts or tap-along videos for your problem. However, while tapping along can soothe the distress at the time, those old feelings can come back later.

It’s as if tapping on the symptoms is like hacking away at the leaves of a tree. If the trunk of the tree is untouched the leaves can grow back with ease. If we don’t work on the trunk and the roots then we could make slow progress.

Let’s imagine someone called Annie.

Annie is now in her thirties and has had the uneasy feeling that she is not wanted for as long as she can remember.

Although she is in a long-term relationship with a loving partner, she often imagines that she is about to lose him to someone who is ‘better’ than she is. In spite of his obvious love for her, she finds it hard to accept that he does love her and that it will last.

She strives to conceal her reservations and be pleasing to him. She puts him first to ensure she keeps his affections.

But, even when things are going well, she feels a deep-seated unease about her relationship and how long it will last.

Read moreHow your past can be running your present (and what to do about it)

Identity Healing – Are Your Younger Selves Suffering?

Younger self
Image courtesy of Emily

If you look at your passport or your driving license you can see your name and your photo. Even if the photo is bad you can tell that it is you.

You appear to be just one person. But is that true?

On the outside you may project an image of calm, capability, or one of the other ways we like to present ourselves to the world. Behind the eyes and beneath the skin it can be a different story.

Have you ever said or heard someone else say?

  • I am not good enough
  • There is something wrong with me
  • I can’t forgive myself
  • Nobody loves me
  • I hate myself

Each of these statements is about an ‘I’,’me’ or ‘myself’. They speak about our identity, who we are.

Beneath what we hope are our socially acceptable exteriors there may be parts of ourselves that are not happy.

These parts: the ‘I’ in “I’m not good enough”, the ‘me’ in “Nobody loves me” and the ‘I’ and ‘myself’ in “I hate myself” are sometimes known as sub-personalities. Sub-personalities are parts of our inner selves that step up and wear the mask of our outer selves.

These parts of ourselves are usually suffering.

The ‘I’ in I’m not good enough is not having a good time.

The ‘me’ in “Nobody loves me” feels distress.

The ‘I’ and ‘myself’ in “I hate myself” are both feeling stressed.

These parts of ourselves are often formed in childhood at times of stress. They carry what they felt, thought and did at that time through life in a capsule of that stress and distress.

You may also remember times when it felt as if a younger part of yourself took control of your adult self. It’s as if you had been hijacked by a terrified child or angry teenager. If you’ve had this experience you have felt the presence of a sub-personality.

It’s bad enough that we can carry these pockets of stress and distress within ourselves, but it gets worse.

Read moreIdentity Healing – Are Your Younger Selves Suffering?

Healing Self Blame Through Tapping

Image courtesy of iandesign
Image courtesy of iandesign

If you burnt the toast this morning as you were making breakfast you could say that you blamed yourself for the mistake.

It’s not such a bad mistake, you would probably get over it by lunch time.

But, what if you always blamed yourself for everything.

That would be a very different experience: you might give yourself a hard time about how stupid you are and how you mess everything up. You might find it quite difficult to be happy.

People who are being blamed for things don’t usually enjoy the experience.

It gets worse. At least if you are blamed for something by someone else you could get away from them for a bit of peace and quiet, but if you are blaming yourself then it’s difficult to escape from it.

A client of mine, let’s call him Chris, had a strong tendency to blame himself.

When I had him say out loud “I blame myself” it registered 9 out of 10 as a true statement.

If you wanted to take care of this issue using standard EFT you might start digging around in your client’s past to find the experiences that lead to the formation of this self-critical attitude. That might take a lot of digging and tapping, but there are other ways to work with these issues, one of them is what I call Identity Reconciliation which is a part of Identity Healing.

Read moreHealing Self Blame Through Tapping

EFT/Tapping Webinars Recordings and Slides

Over the past year I’ve presented six online webinars on various subjects relating to EFT/tapping and self-development.

For those of you who would like to watch again or see for the first time here is the list of presentations and links to the recordings and slides of the webinars.

I hope you find them useful

Inclusive Tapping

A webinar that may help you to look at how feelings work in a different way and give you a simple tapping routine to help you more easily let go of the feelings, thoughts and behaviours that no longer serve you.

View or download slides: Inclusive Tapping

Read moreEFT/Tapping Webinars Recordings and Slides

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