How many times have you had the thought “Oh no, not again!”?
In my pre-EFT life I was a software engineer in a small image analysis company. I was given the responsibility of supporting a project that had several technical problems.
Every couple of weeks I’d get a call from our customer who was (rightly) concerned about the lack of progress we were making. By accident or design he knew exactly how to make me feel bad so that I would promise repairs and add new features to make up for the lack of progress.
Each call was more painful than the last one, as time went on I came to dread them. I was so knotted up with tension whenever he called I was surprised I could still string sentences together.
Each call made the next one worse. It was a vicious circle I couldn’t get out of, if only I’d had EFT then.
A lot of our daily stressors have a kind of repetitive quality, it’s the same thing over and over again.
If you are on any of the alternative / complementary therapy self-help groups you will be familiar with ‘Therapy By Facebook’: one of the group asks for help and other group members offer their experience and suggestions.
On the face of it, the support and willingness to help from the participants of these groups is is inspiring, but is it a good thing?
The steps of ‘Therapy By Facebook’ are probably familiar to you.
Someone posts a request for help on their favourite Facebook EFT, NLP, ( insert favourite modality here) group.
Note: In this article I’m going to talk about EFT/Tapping, as it is the modality I’m most familiar with, but I’m sure the same kind of thing goes on in many Facebook groups.
It’s obvious that the person making the post is suffering and wants some way to relieve their distress. They may have read articles or seen YouTube videos of someone using EFT/Tapping to get astounding results and they hope that they can get some relief from what is bothering them.
The ‘client’ usually sums up their problem in a short post of just two or three sentences.
As soon as members of the group have read this, some of them are moved to offer whatever help they can. Each person offers a suggestion, an approach or an explanation for what they think is happening and what might help.
Typically these suggestions are also just two or three sentences long.
Typically some of these suggestions will contradict each other.
It may have taken a lot of courage for the ‘client’ to put their issue out there into the public arena. As the suggestions roll in it must be comforting to realise that so many people want to help.
But will the help that is being offered really help?
“When you replace “why is this happening?” with “what is this trying to teach me?” then everything shifts.
There is a popular idea in personal growth circles that difficult things are really lessons, provided by God / Universe / Spirit / Source that we need to be taught to progress to our next level of ‘spiritual development’.
From this perspective, asking the question “What is this trying to teach me?” makes sense.
It’s probably a better question than “Why is this happening to me?” but I think the metaphor underpinning the question has some serious downsides.