EFT Cafe – 14th November 2018 – Four Step Questioning For Better Tapping

Four Step QuestionsOne of the principles of EFT / Tapping is to be specific.

Unfortunately a lot of our problems seem vague and elusive.

How do you tap on low self esteem, general discontent, poor relationships, procrastination or indecisiveness?

Some things are just so vague that it’s like tapping on fog. So how can you get specific enough to tap?

In this month’s EFT Cafe  on Wednesday 14th, November 2018 at 7pm Andy Hunt will demonstrate a four part questioning process to help you turn the vague and general into the concrete and specific.

In short, it will give you something to tap on.

EFT Cafe – 10th Oct, 2018 – How We Exist In The Minds Of Others

How we exist in the minds of othersHumans are social animals that thrive best in supportive groups and families.

The threat of being excluded from our social group can provoke a lot of fear and distress.

In order to understand how to fit in and get along with our caregivers and companions we soon learn how to imagine how other people think of us, and feel about us, so we can predict what others will do next and how best to respond to stay safe in our ‘tribe’.

As very young children we develop a ‘theory of mind’: the ability to attribute mental states—beliefs, intents, desires, emotions, knowledge, etc.—to oneself, and to others, and to understand that others have beliefs, desires, intentions, and perspectives that are different from one’s own.

With a good theory of mind we can empathise, choose appropriate gifts, ‘read’ body language and non-verbal cues, predict how someone will respond to a situation and many manage other facets of social life.

Our theory of ‘how we exist in the minds of others’ radically shape our experience.

If we think others think well of us then we will be comfortable and resourceful in our social world.

If we think others think badly of us we may feel (and fear being) unattractive, rejectable or vulnerable to attack.

In this week’s EFT Cafe on Wednesday, 10th October, Andy Hunt will explore using EFT to change the way we think other people think of us so we can be more resourceful, congruent and confident with others.

Can you help me write a book?

The Tapping ToolkitA few years ago I published a book called The Tapping Toolkit, a collection of tools and techniques that I had developed over the years I’ve used EFT with clients and on myself.

Now I’d like to update the book with a new version that builds on and adds some new techniques and tactics I’ve developed since the first version, written in 2014.

So how can you help me write a book?

In the ‘old’ days if you wanted a book you had to wait for the author to write it and for it to be published. If you’ve ever written a book you will know that this can take a long time. As a reader you had to wait for the author to finish and then you got the whole book all at once.

This, traditional, approach to writing a book has two main drawbacks:

  1. The book may or may not be useful for the person it is written for. The reader gets no say in what is covered and how it is explained. They have to take the authors version as it is.
  2. The book depends on the writers ability to know what the reader wants or needs. What’s written and how it is written is based on the writer’s guesses about what matters to the reader.

Now there is a way of writing a book that incorporates the feedback and needs of the reader.

New technology allows writers to quickly build and distribute a several editions of the book over time and respond the feedback and interests of the people who want to read it.

With each new edition the book becomes a better book because it addresses the needs of the people it is written for.

This is the approach I’m adopting for the new version of The Tapping Toolkit.

How does this work?

The latest version of The Tapping Toolkit is available from here.

There are two versions available:

  • A free sample so you can find out if you like what I have to say and how I’m saying it.
  • The current version of the book as it evolves which you need to pay for.

The current version of the book will evolve over time as I respond to feedback and add new chapters.

You can download the free sample at any time. If you like what you see you can buy an ebook edition of the current version.

You choose your price between a minimum and maximum value. Once you buy the book you get all the following updates free of charge when they are published.

In the early days the minimum fee will be quite low, as the book gets larger and closer to completion the minimum price will rise reflecting the value of the larger book.

When the book finally reaches version 1.0 and is complete. I will create a paperback version for those of you who like real books. If you have bought an ebook version of The Tapping Toolkit I will offer a substantial discount on the paperback version.

What’s in it for you?

This approach to writing a book is called ‘Lean Publishing’ and it has the following benefits to you the reader:

  • You get a usable book far sooner than if you had to wait for the author to finish the final copy.
  • You can send feedback, comments and ask for clarification to the author which may be incorporated into the next edition. Your new (free) updated book will be improved by the collective feedback of other readers.
  • As each new chapter is added and feedback included you will get a bigger and better book.
  • Each new mini-edition will be delivered in a matter of weeks.
  • Once you have bought the book you will get each update free of charge.
  • You decide what to pay for the book within the minimum and maximum suggested price.
  • When the paperback version of the book is published you will get a substantial discount if you decide to upgrade from pixels to paper.

What’s in it for me?

This approach is not only good for you it has benefits for me too:

  • It’s a lot easier to explain things if you get good feedback.
  • It’s motivating to know that people are interested and invested in what you want to say.
  • I get better royalties than I’d get from a regular publisher/bookseller like Amazon.

For most of you this is probably a very unusual way to get a book. As far as I know I am the only EFT author using this approach.

If you are interested in the book you can download a free sample from The Tapping Toolkit webpage.

If you like what you read you can buy the current version of the book from the same webpage.

I hope you find the book interesting (and decide to buy it) and I look forward to receiving your comments and feedback so I can make it a better and even more useful book.

EFT Cafe – 12th September 2018 – The Polarity Process

Polarity ProcessThe Polarity Process, designed by Steve Wells is a way of systematically softening our negative self-beliefs by working with the good and the bad of the ‘negative’ belief and its opposite the ‘positive’ belief.

By systematically processing the pros and cons of our limiting beliefs we can relax them into something more useful (and find greater self acceptance while doing it).

Join Andy Hunt at the EFT Cafe at 7pm on Wednesday 12th September to find out how to use this process.

The EFT Cafe is held at St Oswald’s Hospice, Newcastle upon Tyne and costs just £10.

Practice Safe EFT For Better Self Help

Stay safeMost of us experience moderate amounts of stress or distress in our lives. Some of us experience huge amounts of stress and distress that can make our lives a misery.

Naturally people want to feel better.

The self-help shelves at the book store groan under the weight of all the self-help books offering techniques and approaches to relieve your suffering. EFT books are finding their way on to those shelves in increasing numbers.

In the online age advice and suggestions for tapping self help are all around us. If you Google EFT + ‘your problem’ you are likely to be overwhelmed with suggestions. You may be invited to tap along with videos and scripts, sign up for courses and download ebooks designed to help you resolve this, that or the other, problem.

We are very lucky to have EFT/Tapping available as a powerful self-help tool, but there’s good news and bad news.

The good news is that EFT/Tapping is very powerful, it can reach deep issues and process difficult emotions. In the hands of a skilled practitioner who knows what to do and how to do it you can make a great deal of progress at relieving your stress and soothing your distress.

The bad news is that EFT/Tapping is very powerful, it can reach deep issues and process difficult emotions. In the hands of someone who doesn’t know what they are doing it may not work at all, or it may ‘work’ too well and you will get into emotional trouble that can be hard to get out of.

That’s one of the reasons why working with a good practitioner is so helpful, they know what to do, how to do it and how to keep you safe while you are doing it.

If you are using EFT/Tapping for yourself you are both your own therapist and your own client. It’s important not to bite off more than you can chew.

Read morePractice Safe EFT For Better Self Help

Would You Label A Baby?

NewbornImagine that one of your best friends has just had a baby.

You visit her to congratulate her and see the newborn. She hands you a tiny bundle, the child’s sleepy eyes look up at you as a tiny hand grips your massive finger.

After a delightful while you return the baby to your friend.

Your friend looks down at the baby and says :

“You are worthless”

“Your are not good enough”

“You are a failure”

What would you think?

You would probably be shocked and you would almost certainly disagree.

You would argue that it was ridiculous and cruel for her to label a newborn child in this way.

No one starts off worthless, not good enough or a failure; that is something you are taught to believe about yourself along the way.

You might have been taught very well and come to believe these labels implicitly and even blame yourself for being that way.

Take one of the critical thoughts you have about yourself – one of those damning descriptions you know to be true.

Imagine, once again, that you are going to visit a friend who has just had a baby.

When you get there you realise, with a start, that the friend is your mother and the newborn baby is you.

Your mother hands you the tiny bundle that is you, the child’s sleepy eyes look up at you as a tiny hand grips your massive finger.

Look into that baby’s eyes and try to apply your damming description to her (or him).

Does that description really fit?

If it doesn’t fit the newborn you then you must have learned this idea about yourself along the way and if you still believe that description is true then you have been well taught indeed.

In either case what has been learned can be unlearned.

One definition of therapy might be unlearning what isn’t true (even if it seems like it is).

Full disclosure: the overall idea for this post came from a suggestion at the end of this article about Self Acceptance and Self Rejection by Steve Andreas.

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