Why am I making no progress?

Image courtesy of kylepost
Image courtesy of kylepost

Some people feel like they are making no progress in their therapy or self-development.

Whatever they do, things seem to stay just as bad as before. It can be both discouraging and frustrating, some people even give up trying.

To understand one of the reasons for making no progress (and some ideas to help get unstuck) we need to take an imaginary trip to the seaside in Victorian England.

In the late 19th century the north of England was strewn with large industrial towns with smoking chimneys, dank factories, stinking rivers, polluted air and blackened buildings.

During the factory holidays the workforce and their families would leave the factory towns and travel to the seaside towns of Blackpool or Scarborough to enjoy the novelty of sun, sea and fresh air.

Let’s imagine two such travellers leaving the grimy city for a well deserved visit to the seaside: Miss Change and Miss Same have known each other for years. They grew up in the city, although they are used to the stink and grime, they both want to get away from it, if only for a little while.

Miss Change and Miss Same although they have lots in common do have a difference in temperament that makes going on the same holiday a very different experience.

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EFT Café – 12th, March 2014 – How To Say Yes To Life

Photo Credit: jepoirrier via Compfight cc

Are you saying no some parts of your life?

Resisting what is actually going on in the hope that saying no to it will change it for the better.

You may have noticed that resisting the reality of your situations can be quite tiring.

Paradoxically, saying yes to that same experience may help you have more peace around it and greater energy to change it.

Saying yes to some parts of your life – a condition, relationship, situation, yourself – does not mean that you like it. You can say yes to pain, disappointment, sorrow, to the things about our lives that we are not enjoying.

At some level you may also find yourself saying no to the things that you want, as a way of avoiding the discomfort that change can bring.

Saying yes to your experience means that you accept the facts as they are and you are not resisting what is happening, even if you are working hard to change your situation.

Acceptance of the situation will usually bring more peace and give you more energy to make the changes you want to make.

In this month’s EFT Café, Andy Hunt will show you how to use EFT to help you say yes to your experience so that you can be more at peace in your life and have more energy to make the changes you want to.

The EFT Café  is on Wednesday March 12th, 2014 at St Oswald’s Hospice Teaching Centre, Newcastle upon Tyne from 7pm – 9pm. The cost is £10.

How To Take The Heat Out Of Indignation With EFT

Image courtesy of Hello Turkey Toe
Image courtesy of Hello Turkey Toe

Have you ever had an attack of indignation?

You’re probably familiar with the hot feelings of anger and injustice that wash through you when you feel you are wrongly accused of some misdeed.

It may even be followed by a feeling of righteousness as you work through all the ways in which you are right and they are wrong.

Have you ever conducted a discussion fuelled by indignation?

Did it go well?

Were the feelings of goodwill and mutual respect for both parties enhanced?

Were mutually agreeable resolutions to the dispute easily reached?

I thought not.

Indignation is understandable. We all have strong feelings about what is right and proper, what we did and how we should be treated, sometimes to be taken to task to endure criticism.

When our values or self-respect are violated we may become angry and defensive as we seek to protect ourselves and what is important to us.

However, the heat of indignation may not be the best way for us to stand up for ourselves and our position, it can lead to us entrenching our own position, feeling more hostility towards our ‘opponent’. Naturally when they see us digging in, they might want to dig their own trenches and prepare for a struggle over the issue.

What if we could take the heat out of the issue, look at the circumstances, needs and wants of all parties without getting swept up in aggression or defensiveness?

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