When asked: “What is your biggest problem with EFT?”
One of my newsletter readers answered: “I often forget to use it in acute situations where I would greatly benefit from it (rising anxiety in a situation that makes me nervous)”
If people report that they get so much benefit from EFT, why do they forget to tap in difficult situations?
I think there are three reasons why someone would forget to tap when they need to.
1. Hijacked By Strong Emotions
EFT is really good for settling strong emotions. Anyone who has used it will know that painful emotional states are quickly softened by using EFT.
Unfortunately strong emotional states, particularly those related to fear and anxiety reduce our ability to think straight. It’s as if the plug gets pulled on our thinking mind and we go into a less resourceful state of mind.
Even though this article focuses on EFT these blocks apply to whatever self-help modality you are using
In my September Newsletter I sent out a survey asking my readers for some of the questions and queries they had about using EFT for themselves. I got some great responses which I hope to answer in a series of articles.
The first question I want to tackle was asked by a few readers and could be summarised as: “Why don’t I use EFT on a regular basis?”
As an EFT Trainer I have noticed that a lot of people learn the basics with enthusiasm at a training and then fail to use the skills they have learned on a regular basis.
It’s a puzzle, why go to all the trouble to learn a simple, robust, self-help technique and then not use it?
Here are eight reasons you might not use EFT on a regular basis for yourself.
1. You don’t want to change
At one level you really want to change. Of course you do, why else would you spend time and money learning the techniques to do that.
At another level the part of you that has learned to live in your current situation might prefer to keep the more familiar status quo even if it is not very agreeable.
Most people like stability, they like a predictable life, even if they don’t like that life at least they know what to expect and be prepared for it.
Years ago, when I was a participant on a counselling course one of the trainers, Professor Charles (Chuck) M Devonshire told us something that struck me as being a very astute observation of people. He said:
“In my opinion, for most people it’s better the security of misery than the misery of insecurity”
I think he was right. For most people the desire for predictability weighs heavily against the desire to change and the unfamiliarity that brings and their unconscious mind makes sure that they don’t take the necessary steps to change.
Life is what it is and does what it does, but we think it should be different.
That gap between the facts of our lives and how we think it should be causes a lot of friction and suffering as the discrepancies rub up against us.
There are two basic approaches in dealing with this gap. We can try to change the universe so it fits with our preferences, or we can learn to let go of our attachments to our fictions and come to terms with the facts of the situation. We can learn to accept the reality of what’s going on in our experience.
From a place of clarity and acceptance we can then decide what to do next. Acceptance is not the same as resignation. We are not turning ourselves into doormats willing to mutely endure any injustice, rather we are beginning to acknowledge the situation as it is and are willing to do what we can to change it for the better, not from a place of suffering but from the standpoint of clear seeing.
Letting go of the way it should be, for the way it is, can be a huge challenge.
In this month’s EFT Café Andy Hunt will be demonstrating some techniques that help reduce the suffering that arises from our struggle to make the world a better place by being unhappy about it.
The EFT Café is on Wednesday 14th, Nov from 7pm-9pm at St Owald’s Hospice Teaching Centre, Gosforth, Newcastle upon Tyne.
Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is a simple, yet very effective, healing process that uses your body’s built-in stress relief system.
By tapping with the fingertips on the ends of acupuncture meridians you can reduce, or eliminate, all types of negative emotions including fears, anger, phobias, grief, traumatic memories, stress and anxiety.
EFT can also relieve many physical conditions that may have an emotional component, such as headaches, muscle stiffness, pain, food cravings, smoking, itching and nail biting.