The Compassion Bubble – NLP Café – 16th March

Seifenblase (Bulle de Savon, Soap Bubble)

  • Do you give yourself a hard time or judge yourself harshly?
  • Do you have trouble feeling as kind to yourself as you do to others.?
  • Do you work with people with these issues?

If so this month’s NLP Café may be very useful to you. I will be presenting three new techniques to quickly and easily develop compassionate self acceptance. These techniques based on the ‘Compassion Bubble’ take advantage of our natural ability to feel compassionate towards other beings and applies it to ourselves.

Far from being a warm and fuzzy nice thing to have, compassionate self acceptance is being recognised as a major part of psychological and emotional wellbeing.

The processes being demonstrated at this NLP Café will include:

These processes let you feel compassionate acceptance for yourself and are a gentle emotional tonic, especially if you are having a hard time. They are a mixture of relaxation, guided imagery, state elicitation and time-lines. You don’t need to have done any NLP before but some knowledge would be helpful.

Note: The Compassion Mirror and Compassion Life Line techniques have never been demonstrated in public before.

The workshop is from 7pm – 9pm at St Oswald’s Hospice Teaching Centre, South Gosforth, Newcastle upon Tyne.

The cost is just £10.

Image courtesy of Photoclinique

The First Northern Changeworkers, Counsellors, Coaches and Therapists Conference

My friend and colleague Nigel Hetherington of Communicating Excellence is arranging a conference in Newcastle on May 14th & 15th specifically for people who do ‘changework’ – therapists, coaches, counsellors and the like.

He says this about the event:

The Northern Changeworkers, Counsellors, Coaches and Therapists Conference.

The first Northern ChangeWorkers, Counsellors, Coaches and Therapists Conference ( NCCCTC ), here in Newcastle upon Tyne. A conference where we are continuing to highlight The North East as a centre for Excellence in Change Work and Therapy. 14-15 May 2011 : Newcastle upon Tyne

With our Magnificent Seven presenters, we can all draw from their experience and absorb their uniquely individual approach to successful change work. The result is we ALL grow and benefit.

Our presenters are:

Nigel Hetherington, Harry Knox, Sharon Cox, John Wheeler, Rob McGinley, Andy Hunt & Paula McCormack.

Unprecedented value at £40 and ONLY £30 for the first 100 participants.”

You can find out more about this conference here

As you can see I am one of the ‘Magnificent Seven’ presenters – happily I won’t have to wear a Stetson or shoot anybody.

If you are a professional people helper then I recommend this conference and line up of presenters to you.

Why I Hate 'Come Dine With Me'

YL Dinner (33)My partner, Karen, loves ‘Come Dine With Me’. I can’t stand it, and I’ve just realised one of the reasons why.

In case you are not familiar with this program, it’s a ‘reality’ TV show where five contestants, who are strangers to each other, alternately host a dinner party for the others each day for a week. At the end of the week the winner wins £1000.

Think of it as Big Brother comes to dinner.

My perception of the program is that every episode is a mixture of cookery, tense interactions between the guests, mutual character assassination as they elaborate on what’s wrong with each other. (Naturally the ‘contestants’ have been carefully chosen to be as incompatible as possible with one another).  All topped off with a jokey, sarcastic voice-over that would get the narrator punched if he ever said those things to your face.

Apart from the obvious, if you are a hater of reality TV like me, I’ve realised one of the things I find disturbing about this program, is that the program mimics the inner life of the people I work with therapeutically.

If you are very self critical then your mental processes might follow a very similar pattern.

As you are trying to get things done:

  • inner parts of you can be arguing and bickering about what is the best way forward.
  • you may spend time wondering and worrying about what other people are thinking about you.
  • everything you think, say or do has an internal critical commentary, pointing out your faults, where you are doing things wrong, why other people would be laughing at you, if only they knew how incompetent you are.

This isn’t much fun as an interior life. At least on TV it’s all over in half an hour and you can always use the off button if it all gets too much, but if it’s your inner world then you are stuck with it all day and every day. Unfortunately there isn’t an obvious off button for critical internal dialogue.

If this scenario seems horribly familiar to you then it is worth considering that no matter how familiar it feels it is not the natural state of affairs. You didn’t start out in life that way, all those traits were learned, or taught, along the way. They don’t have to be permanent. It might take some work to force your critical inner dinner guests to go, but it is possible.

I’ll be presenting some of the approaches I use to help soften inner critics and ease self-blame at this year’s ChangeCamp event in Newcastle on March 26th. If you are in the Newcastle area and want to find out more go to

Image courtesy of Tostie14

How To Flip Your Limiting Beliefs With EFT

Parkour Practice LondonThe Belief Flip is a simple EFT process for neutralising many types of limiting beliefs quickly and easily.

One such limiting belief might be: “I will always be poor”.

In standard EFT you could use several approaches to soften or neutralise this belief:

  • Persistent tapping on the belief statement to reduce the charge over time.
  • Investigate the events that led up to the formation of this belief, neutralising each memory with the movie technique until the belief has collapsed.
  • Use some clever reframing in your tapping to verbally loosen the belief’s hold.

The Belief Flip is a simple reframing pattern that you can use on many types of belief. It will typically neutralise the belief with just one or two rounds of tapping. It might take a little bit of effort to fully ‘get’ the pattern at first, but it is worth it.

This process works by stretching the limiting belief so far out of shape during the tapping that it can not come back into its original form. It works well with beliefs that involve permissions and black and white thinking. These beliefs often start with:

  • I always / I never … “I am always late”
  • I can / I can’t … “I can’t control my eating”
  • I am / I am not … “I am not allowed to be happy”
  • I must / I must not … “I must be in control”
  • Nobody / Everybody … “Nobody loves me”

The Belief Flip works by taking the belief statement, splitting it into two pieces, flipping the meaning of both pieces to create a set of four phrases that are tapped on, in sequence, to neutralise the original belief.

Read more

EFT Level 2 Training – April 2011 – Newcastle

AAMETI am running an EFT Level 2 Practitioner Training on April 2nd & 3rd, 2011.

If you work professionally with people as a therapist, counsellor, psychologist, social worker or medical professional you will find Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) a very valuable technique to add to your repertoire.

What you will get from this training

  • How clients restrict their experience of the world with limiting beliefs and how to use EFT to detect and remove those limitations.
  • Ways to approach difficult issues with the minimum of distress to the client. EFT is already a very gentle way to neutralise trauma, in this training you will learn how to soften the process still further.
  • Approaches to finding the core issues, events and beliefs that hold clients trapped in a problem. Once these core issues have been identified and resolved the problems associated with them can be rapidly dealt with.
  • Different ways to address physical issues including how to discover and resolve contributing emotional factors.
  • How to use EFT over the phone.
  • How to use EFT in group settings.
  • Legal and practical issues of working with clients.

On completion of the training and the successful submission of three case studies you will receive an AAMET EFT Practitioner certificate. You need to have successfully completed an EFT Level 1 before taking this course.

Important: This course is only open to people who are already have an existing professional practice and good core skills.

The fee is just £195 if paid before March 5th, £225 thereafter. To book a place on the course or ask for more information use contact form here.

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