Helpful advice on helping

If One Is Truly to Succeed in Leading a Person to a Specific Place, One Must First and Foremost Take Care to Find Him Where He is and Begin There.

This is the secret in the entire art of helping.

Anyone who cannot do this is himself under a delusion if he thinks he is able to help someone else. In order truly to help someone else, I must understand more than he – but certainly first and foremost understand what he understands.

If I do not do that, then my greater understanding does not help him at all. If I nevertheless want to assert my greater understanding, then it is because I am vain or proud, then basically instead of benefiting him I really want to be admired by him.

But all true helping begins with a humbling.

The helper must first humble himself under the person he wants to help and thereby understand that to help is not to dominate but to serve, that to help is a not to be the most dominating but the most patient, that to help is a willingness for the time being to put up with being in the wrong and not understanding what the other understands.

Soren Kierkegaard

Oscar the cat

This is the first time I’ve ever read an article in the New England Journal of Medicine. The subject, Oscar the cat, seemed to be rather unusual for a medical journal.

Oscar ‘works’ in a nursing centre in Providence, Rhode Island. He seems to have an uncanny ability to sense when someone is about to die. He curls up on their bed, nuzzling the person and purring until they have passed away. He even has a wall plaque honouring him for his “compassionate hospice care”.

No, I’m not making this up.

You can read about him in A Day in the Life of Oscar the Cat – a warm, sad and beautifully written article.

EFT for Kids

If you have kids, or work with them, and you would like some ideas about how to use EFT for them. The eft4kids forum on may be a useful resource for you.

Rather than the email newsletter, this is an interactive discussion forum where contributors present and reply to questions. The forum is subdivided into four topic areas:

  • General interest – three guesses!
  • Parent’s – family applications of EFT
  • Teacher’s – applications of EFT in educational situations
  • Practitioner’s – EFT for therapists, counsellors and the other helping professions.

If have questions or something to say about using EFT with children and young people this might be a good place to start.

Traumatic memories

An article in the New Scientist reports on a research project about how we might be genetically predisposed to remember intense experiences.

Highly emotive incidents trigger the brain to release the hormone and neurotransmitter noradrenaline.This stimulates the amygdala – part of the brain involved with processing emotional reactions – to store memories in the hippocampus and other parts of the brain, says Dominique de Quervain, a neuroscientist at the University of Zurich in Switzerland.

However how you recall emotionally charged memories (both good and bad) varies a lot from person to person. There is a common variation in the gene which influences how sensitive your brain is to noradrenaline, 30% of Caucasians and 12% of Africans have this variation.

In an experiment involving Swiss citizens and survivors of the Rwandan genocide he found that people with the genetic variation had a far higher recall of negative emotional events.

“The genetic variant is related to enhanced emotional memory,”
concludes de Quervain. “But it also appears to predispose people to
stronger traumatic memories when something terrible happens.”

These results may go some way towards answering why some people are much more traumatised by events than others.

Knowing how it happens is one thing, knowing what to do about it is something else. I look forward to the day I can review an article about the effectiveness of EFT or NLP in reducing the impact of trauma.

Emotional recall is in your genes – 29 July 2007 – New Scientist

EFT Level 2 Trainings in Newcastle

EFT Level 2 SealI’m running an approved EFT Level 2 Training in Newcastle on Saturday and Sunday 20th & 21st October at the Training Centre, St Oswald’s Hospice, Newcastle.

This level gives you the skills to work with clients, it is intended for those in the helping professions who wish to add this extremely effective method to their toolkit.

You will learn more sophisticated approaches for dealing with trauma, anxiety, cravings, physical symptoms and more. Note: You must have an EFT Level 1 Certificate to attend the EFT Level 2 training.

Find more about my courses, contents, venues and dates on my training page.

Find out more about other EFT workshops and seminars at EFT Café website.

Categories EFT

The Weekly Wash – EFT Stress Relief Workshop

When I was a kid, before automatic washing machines were common, my mum used to save up the washing for one day in the week. Our clothes could have taken about a day or two’s wear before they were too grubby. We save them up and she would do the weekly wash to put them back in good order for next week.

It’s funny but most of us don’t seem to have a similar mechanism to clean up the previous week’s stress. If someone said you had to wear the same shirt for months and years we would probably not like the idea too much. But that’s what we put up with our emotional ‘clothing’, we get splattered (or drenched) with stress everyday and instead of dealing with it, we cover it up or push it down, with drink, food or some other distraction.

Read more

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